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Same But Different: The Lesbian Love Story New Zealand Gifted Us in 2019
Let’s be real – finding good lesbian representation in movies that isn’t tragic, stereotypical, or made for the male gaze is still rarer than it should be in 2025. That’s why, years later, I still scream from the rooftops about Same But Different: A True New Zealand Love Story (2019). This little indie gem flew way too under the radar, but for any lesbian who’s ever fallen for her best friend, this film feels like someone reached into your chest and filmed your actual life.
The movie is based on the real-life love story of Rachel and Nikki, two Kiwi women who went from flatmates and besties to wives and mothers. Yes, it’s a true story, and yes, it’s as soft and chaotic and beautiful as every slow-burn lesbian romance we’ve ever daydreamed about.
Rachel (played by Hannah Herchenbach) is the loud, confident, slightly messy one who’s openly gay from the jump. Nikki (Robyn Paterson) is the quieter, recently separated straight(ish) mum who moves in with Rachel after her marriage falls apart. What follows is the most delicious friends-to-lovers tension I’ve ever seen on screen. The stolen glances. The accidental touches. The “we’re just really close mates” denial phase that every lesbian in the audience is screaming “GIRL HE’S GAY—wait no, YOU’RE GAY FOR EACH OTHER” at the TV.
What makes this film different (pun absolutely intended) is how normal it all feels. There’s no big dramatic “coming out to the whole country” moment, no homophobic villain, no tragic death. It’s just two women figuring out that the safest, warmest place in the world is suddenly in each other’s arms. And because it’s New Zealand, everything is shot against the most ridiculously gorgeous backdrops – think rolling green hills, cozy beach houses, and that laid-back Kiwi vibe that makes you want to move there tomorrow with your girlfriend and a rescue dog.
The chemistry between the two leads is off the charts. You can literally feel the moment Nikki realizes “oh crap, I’m not straight” and the panic mixed with pure joy on her face is so relatable it hurts. As a lesbian who took the long way round herself, watching Nikki’s journey felt like therapy. And Rachel? She’s the dream girl we all deserved in our twenties – supportive, funny, a little rough around the edges, but would literally burn the world down to protect the people she loves.
One of my favorite things? The film doesn’t shy away from the messiness. There’s ex-husband drama, kid drama, “what do we tell our parents” drama – but it never feels forced. It’s just… life. Lesbian life, specifically, in all its complicated, tender glory.
Also, can we talk about how rare it is to see a lesbian movie where both women actually end up happy, married, and raising kids together? No one dies. No one “chooses” a man in the end. They just get their happily ever after, complete with a stunning New Zealand wedding scene that made me cry like a baby.
If you’re a lesbian (or love someone who is) and you haven’t seen Same But Different yet, stop whatever you’re doing and find it right now. It’s on Netflix in some countries, or you can usually rent it on Vimeo or Prime. Trust me, you’ll thank me when you’re ugly-crying at 2 a.m. because someone finally made a movie that feels like us – without the tragedy porn.
This film isn’t just a cute romance; it’s proof that our love stories deserve to be told softly, honestly, and without apology. Same But Different? More like Same As My Dreams – finally on screen.
Have you watched it yet? Drop your favorite moment in the comments – I need to know I’m not the only one still obsessed years later! ♡
(And yes, I will be recommending this to every baby gay I meet until the end of time.)
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