Why Every Lesbian Needs to Watch AWOL (2016)

You ever stumble across a movie that feels like it was made just for you, even though barely anyone talks about it? That’s AWOL (2016) for me. Directed by Deb Shoval and starring Lola Kirke and Breeda Wool, this tiny indie film flew so far under the radar it’s basically invisible, yet it’s one of the realest, most gut-punching lesbian stories I’ve ever seen.

The plot is simple on paper: Rayna (Breeda Wool), a working-class woman stuck in small-town Pennsylvania, dreams of joining the Army to get the hell out. She’s married, has two kids, and life is just… gray. Then she meets Joey (Lola Kirke), a free-spirited college girl home for the summer selling ice cream from a truck. Sparks fly immediately. Like, immediate-chemistry-so-thick-you-can-feel-it-through-the-screen kind of sparks.

What makes AWOL different from a lot of lesbian movies is how painfully normal it feels. There’s no big coming-out drama, no homophobic parents screaming, no tragic death (thank God). It’s just two women who fall stupidly, messily, hopelessly in love, and then have to figure out what the hell to do with that when real life keeps getting in the way.

Breeda Wool as Rayna? Absolute queen. She plays this tough-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside butch energy so perfectly it hurts. You can feel how trapped she is, how much she wants more, how terrified she is to blow up her entire life for a woman. And Lola Kirke’s Joey is the chaotic, dreamy femme who thinks love can fix everything (been there, girl). Their chemistry is off the charts. The way they look at each other? Yeah, I had to pause the movie a couple times just to breathe.

The sex scenes are hot, obviously, but they’re also tender in a way you rarely see in lesbian films. It’s not performative, it’s not “look, gay sex!” It feels like two people who can’t keep their hands off each other because they’ve never felt this seen before. There’s a scene in a motel room that still lives rent-free in my head years later.

But here’s where AWOL destroys you: it’s not a fairy tale. This isn’t Carol with its gorgeous coats and happy-ish ending. This is a movie that understands loving a woman when you’re not supposed to can feel like the most freeing and most suffocating thing at the same time. Rayna has kids. She has bills. She has a husband who isn’t even a bad guy, just… there. The film never villains anyone. It just shows how complicated desire is when you’re poor, when you’re a mom, when “lesbian” isn’t even a word you’ve said out loud yet.

I love that AWOL doesn’t give us the Hollywood ending. It would’ve been so easy to wrap it up neatly, but life isn’t neat, especially queer life in rural nowhere. The last 15 minutes had me ugly-crying into my hoodie because it felt so true. Sometimes love isn’t enough to override everything else, and that sucks, and that’s okay to say.

If you’re a lesbian who grew up in a small town, who ever fell for someone “unavailable,” who knows what it’s like to want to run away with a girl so bad it aches – this movie will wreck you in the best way. It’s quiet, it’s slow, it’s real. And honestly? We need more stories like this. Not every lesbian film has to be glamorous or tragic or revolutionary. Sometimes it just has to be two women in a beat-up truck, holding hands, knowing tomorrow might ruin everything.

Stream it, download it, whatever you gotta do, just watch AWOL. It’s only 82 minutes long, but it’ll stay with you forever. Trust me, your gay little heart isn’t ready… but it needs this.

What did you think of AWOL? Did that ending destroy you too? Drop your thoughts in the comments, I need to cry with other lesbians about this movie.